10 Designer Porn Star Names

With models becoming actors, and musicians becoming models, and hip hop artists becoming designers, and Miley Cyrus becoming a pokemon, we thought we’d forecast the next trendy “slashy.” Fashion labels becoming porn stars!

AlexanderMcQueefAlexander McQueen becomes Alexander McQueef

Known for controversy and shock, McQueef never lets us down with a taste for the more… niche pornography.

 

VulvaWangVera Wang becomes Vulva Wang

This ex-figure skater still knows how to break the ice come your honeymoon weekend.

 

AssRideSass & Bide becomes Ass & Ride

The Aussie up-and-comer ironically enough is high and hailed as the “top” power bottom in the industry.

CumDesHardon

Commes des Garcons becomes Cum des Hardon

Known as a gamechanger in the industry, des Hardon mastered the triple dirty martini pinhole on his first shoot. Don’t know what it is? Neither did he. HE INVENTED IT!

AlexbangherWang

Alexander Wang becomes Alex-Bang-Her Wang

We were gonna leave it as is, but when we found out about his bongo abilities in the sack, we had no choice: Alex-Bang-Her it is.

Clitline

 

Celine becomes Clitline

High luxury for the most luxurious of feminine parts.

Vivienne Westwood becomes Vivienne Hardwood

The ultimate punk madame, slips on some latex and becomes Dominatrix Hardwood.

Roberto Cavali becomes Throberto Cumloudly

He used to make exotic prints, now he does erotic stints.

Alice & Olivia by Stacey Bendick becomes Alice & Olivia by Stacey Bentdick

Don’t be fooled by this youthful line, Bentdick is packing a secret under “her” floral dress.

3.1 Phillip Lim becomes 3.1 Phil-up Cum

This line might have a minimalist aesthetic, but there’s nothing minimal about his junk.