Grasping at Relevance with Joe Jonas

December 4, 2013 • Fashion

For an exercise in self-obsession, Joe Jonas’ tell-all in New York Magazine is a mighty insecure final grasp at relevance. But we’ll give him a chance, because we were crazed middle schoolers once and his look was totally formative in our teenage forays into style. We need to get all of this weird behind the scenes knowledge of everything we died over in 2008 off our chests. And, connect Jonas Brothers-fashion comparisons that make as much sense as ending an exposé on the perils of Disney fame with “weird works. Look at Lorde.” Seriously, what the heck dude.

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Daniel: Wait. Did. You. See. This. I’m going to die.

Iris: Omg. It was so weird to read, I literally laughed every sentence. Some choice moments: referencing Speidi?? Admitting that Demi Lovato and Miley Cyrus introduced him to weed. Bitterness about a rejected solo project with a Freddie Mercury vibe. Like maybe they were actually bad? I cringed when I read he “definitely took advantage of the opportunities” he had dating fans. 15 year old me is freaking out.

Daniel: I am so confused at this even coming out right now, and I love that all the celebrity sites are treating it as like news, like it totally is but like really, it so isn’t. He’s truly not saying anything we can’t already infer and overall it just comes off as comedic. Like, dude. He’s exposing himself as a Britney-deflowered-virgin, except he’s the Justin. I’m totally freaking out because this was my life for like whatever half a decade, but like, does anyone really care? lmfao.

Iris: I think it’s weird, I was like why is he even doing this now because they have been on some sort of “hiatus” for a while now and I’m like who the hell even cares. I don’t think it’s even a very efficient way of trying to stay relevant or trying to be cool in the way he wants to be. IMO it just emphasizes his lack of cool especially wording things like: “There was a track with Lil Wayne on which he said the word bitch, and when I heard the album was going to have a parental-advisory label because of it, half of me was thinking, Sweet! People are going to think I’m a bad­ass. The other half thought, That’s going to alienate a lot of fans in Middle America.” I don’t know what other way he could have said this, but it really isn’t helping his cause.

Daniel: I mean I get it, like how else is he going to move on from that period in his life unless he like addresses it, but really it’s doing nothing for him lmao. He needs to understand his previous prowess. Like, his look totally defined an era. It’s immediately identifiable, and really took what happened with Hedi’s Dior Homme, and pushed it into some weird childhood friendly good clean fun arena of marketable skinny jean dandyism.

Iris: Right, he was very important during the time with his clothes. I mean even all of their fans literally dressed like them. It was the skinny scarves, colored skinny jeans, graphic tees that said P∆RIS (or how about Henry Holland’s “I DON’T DO WOMENS JUST RAF SIMONS” T-shirt),  converses,  and rayban wayfarers. The aesthetic ranged from the rise of American Apparel to weird 1960s throwback mod suits. Their whole audience looked like them, it was so recognizable. Like it could be a Halloween costume and you would know your a Jonas Brother omg.

Daniel: I totally credit him with the inescapable world of colored skinny jeans and male flat ironing.

The whole article was like his struggle for coolness, or whatever. And it just came off so sad. It’s like, give up the desire to grab an audience who wants sexy adult buff dude music or whatever and just focus on what you want to say. It’s so weird, like he’s so stifled. I totally blame Kevin Jonas for that, you can just tell. Compared to One Direction, whose like origins are totally manufactured, they as brothers should seem extremely natural but it’s the total opposite. Where 1D really capitalizes on freedom, JB never feels as fresh. Even though I lack faith, he needs to get himself together. He used to occupy a space of idolized teendom with a unique voice and image, and now he’s lost in the muck of everything else.

Iris: Yeah, like did you see Dylan Sprouse’s reponse? (We’re getting embarrassingly involved in this) I mean, I don’t think he will ever be relevant again literally. That is harsh but I’m for real. I went to their concert twice in one week in two states, I committed. But this is inspiring. Dylan said, “nowadays artists just assume they have to do what they are told by their proprietors because there is a ‘rigid structure to achievement’… If you believe this, not only are you incredibly foolish, but you are a BAD ARTIST. Individuality is modernity’s most interesting trait regarding artwork and so so many talented individuals realize this. You do not have to become something else to be successful. Not only is it not too late for them to redefine themselves now, it was never too late.”

Read more:
Building Dreams and Desire
HBA’s Shayne Oliver and Desi Santiago Gamble Big
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