So, you heard the new Beyoncé tracks? You see the videos? Blue is in one of the videos! Walking around and talking and being super cute and baby-like and it’s reeallll cute. AND in of of them she vomits. You saw that? Damn she is legs, legs, LEGS for days in them videos. Yeah, she made mad videos, twenty-of-em or something. She went HAM on us and overnight too, how does she do it? Just comes down from heaven or Houston or wherever she comes from and squashes every last pop diva out right now in one fell swoop. Gaga is out right now, Katy, M.I.A., Britney, Ciara. Squashed them. Just walked through the proverbial bitch door and out-bitched all of the bitches. The End.
Sound familiar? Seems like I can’t take a damn piss the past 4 days without hearing about this whole Bey-mania craziness popping up in CONversation. This is totally my shit, I realize that…
So, she released an album, 14 tracks, which is fun and remarkable why? Because isn’t she a singer? Don’t singers release albums? Am I coming for her? I honestly don’t know, but for some reason I want to. Am I alone in this?
Please don’t get me wrong, I couldn’t really have any more respect for The Queen as a creative factory. But let us all see a stunt for a stunt. She essentially made a film, which can be split both dramatically and visually into 17 segments, with the over-arching narrative being somewhat of an origin story behind her emotional and triumphant rise to deity status. Much like Lady Gaga’s obsession with ‘where she came from,’ Mrs. Carter seems to harp (especially on this album) on the prices she’s paid to sit on the throne.
She tells us that she doesn’t “trust these record labels,” and that she “probably won’t make any money off this, oh well.” She asks, “would you rather me be a machine?” There’s a developed tinge of resentment in her lyrics this time around and a heavy handed focus on darker productions. But after watching through the saga of skin, lips, and hair that is Beyoncé’s self-titled visual album, I’m left wondering what she’s gonna do next. ‘Cause this is not next.
But whatever, DJ play that shit. It’ll make all of us happy. She is our queen, after all.