My mother has incredible skin. When I ask her thoughts on Botox she replies, “I’m not against trying it, I just don’t have any major wrinkles.” She’s right, despite 15 years spent living under the harsh sun of the Caribbean, her skin looks great. Lucky for me, along with the gift of her genes, this year for Christmas she gave me a plethora of high quality skin care products. According to every beauty blogger with a blowout, since in four years I’ll be 30, I should have my skin care regime nailed down. Not to worry ladies, along with using a Clarisonic skin cleanser, I tone and moisturize regularly, and make sure my boyfriend gives me a facial at least once a week. And no, I’m not dating an esthetician.
A facial is when a dude jizzes on your face. Along with the visual resemblance to the type of facials given at the salon, the homonyms have more in common than you’d think. For years there’s been articles appearing online suggesting evidence that antioxidant ingredients in semen are good for your skin, just as research has found that absorbing cum through vaginal walls can act as an anti-depressant. As a chick prone to depression as well as anxiety that provokes my bad habit of picking at my face, which leads to pimples, being in a fluid-bonded relationship is one of the best things to happen to both my physical appearance and mental health. (Hi love, don’t worry, you are good for more than just your sperm.) In 2009 one Cosmo writer detailed her experience of getting a $250 “Spermine Facial” at an upscale New York salon. In her article she already points out the obvious joke, which is no matter how bad your skin is, men will cum on your face for free.
In sincerity, other than being paid to write about the experience or simply a sucker for the latest spa treatment with money to burn, I can’t fathom spending $250 for a synthesized sperm facial when you could just have your partner pull out and climax on your face. Enjoy a kinky sexual experience while improving skin! Then it dawned on me that not all girls like having their partners cum on their face. Perhaps they find it degrading, the experience certainly can be. (I always say as long as you’re safe and smart about it, go for whatever turns you on), but there is a vast difference between a random hook up holding you against a bathroom door and exploding on your face without warning and exploring facials mutually after discussing them with your partner. One can feel like (or in certain settings actually is) sexual assault, and the latter is hot. There is no denying the power and humiliation aspect of facials. It is exactly what makes them so intense, either in an unwanted, or desired way depending on circumstance. Or perhaps we’ve all just watched too much porn and are programmed to find them intriguing after seeing so many money shots that splatter on a performer’s eager face.
A few years ago in a dive bar I was talking to a male friend from college who was in a long-term relationship about facials. He said they turned him on, however he would never want to give one to his girlfriend, whom he wanted to marry, but would happily cum on the face of a girl he didn’t respect, a one-night stand. I was startled, and found about everything he said extremely sexist and offensive. I have no idea his girlfriend’s thoughts on facials. If they repulse her, of course she shouldn’t engage in them, but he liked them, yet saw the act through a Madonna/Whore complex. He respected his girlfriend and viewed her as pure, thus had mostly vanilla sex with her, and saved what he viewed as “dirty” acts he enjoyed such as cumming on someone’s face for women he did not respect. (I was not surprised to discover he was cheating on her.) He is certainly not the only male to think this way. First, all women deserve to be treated respectfully, one-night stands or long-term girlfriends, and as I’ve mentioned in past articles, such thinking patterns, and not sharing and playing out kinks with partners is what can lead to cheating. What fun is being in a relationship if you can’t act out fantasies?
Facials aren’t for everyone. As touched upon earlier, there is a degree of humiliation. One partner is experiencing orgasm and releasing their bodily fluids onto someone’s face, literally covering someone in their essence, an ultimate act of power. The receiver lies vulnerable and allows the eyes they view the world with, the nose they inhale the world through, and the mouth they communicate to the world with to be covered in someone’s cum. Filing the act when performed without consent away into the “no” category and zoning in on facials in a healthy mutual setting, as with S&M or any sexual act that in the wrong situation could be rather violating, there is a beauty and intimacy to experiencing them in a setting of respect, as there is great trust involved. On a less serious note, letting your boyfriend cum on your face can also just be really silly and fun.
A few notes to end on: To the giver of the facial, remember the art of aim learned as a kid being taught to pee, so you actually get it on their face, not missing entirely and Jackson Pollock-ing your pillow. Refrain from falling straight into post-orgasm slumber and be sweet to your partner lying covered in your cum, offering to get something to help wipe it off their face. To the receiver, while watching your partner cum is hot, you may want to close your eyes at the last minute (it stings). Open your mouth and beware of having semen being shot straight up your nose. To my knowledge I know no research on the benefits of a semen Neti pot. If your skin is breaking out, rather than wash it off right away, allow it to dry for a real semen facial. Snuggling up to your partner and falling asleep together with your face covered in his cum is romantic!