Juan Pablo, the misogynistic and homophobic single dad, really outdid himself on this week’s episode of The Bachelor. I watch the show mostly to make fun of the silly girls and shallow, buff dudes. Up until this point I’ve never hated anyone. Most of the people on those shows are idiots but they’re idiots in sort of an innocent charming way.
Not Juan Pablo. He is a giant asshole. He is the type of guy I have learned lessons from and stay away from. I’d rather be alone every night masturbating while my cat creepily stares at me than go on one date with that douchebag.
So, he had sex with this blonde woman Clare, who, up until the most recent episode, I thought was a total lunatic. Of course the show has a way of editing people to make them into villains, and Clare came off as possessive and overbearing. She went to Juan Pablo’s house at four in the morning to invite him out for a swim, which he instantly agreed to. They fucked in the ocean (which sounds horrible, wouldn’t your vagina get a bunch of salt up in it?) then the next day Juan Pablo told Clare he felt ashamed because he didn’t want to set a bad example for his daughter.
Motherfucker, YOU DID IT. Clare did not force you into the ocean. Making her feel like it’s her fault is so grossly manipulative. Is making women feel like shit so they’ll want to please you one of your dating secrets, Juan Pablo? Emotionally degrading a woman you’ve been making out with for weeks and just fucked the night before is a real shit head move. So apparently kissing eight different girls is totally acceptable, but fucking one of them is embarrassing? Your daughter is already going to be damaged being raised by a closed-minded misogynist like yourself.
I hope you fall in love with one of those pretty girls and then she bails out at the last minute.
Oh, and your crying at the end of the last episode was totally fake. You didn’t give a fuck about the three girls you sent home. You want to make yourself look vulnerable and soft so your bachelorettes will feel sympathy for you. More manipulation. Well done. Are you going to tell the remaining ladies that you already fucked and slut-shamed Clare? They should probably know that about you so they can judge you for who you really are. I hope those women stand up for themselves and not become victims of your misogyny.
I know I’m not being forced to watch this show. I feel my blood pressure rise every time I yell, “YOU THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE” at my TV. But it’s fun to watch people spiral into emotional messes. I’m a victim of reality television, sorry. I just really hope something shitty happens to Juan Pablo during this season because he does not deserve any of those women.