Keep It Kinky: DIY Bondage

March 3, 2014 • Love & Sex

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As a writer, I don’t have dreams of becoming a multi-millionaire. However, one day I would like to secure a book deal and have enough money to travel, pay for my unborn children’s future therapy, and own an apartment in Brooklyn with two bedrooms, an eat-in kitchen and a well-equipped sex dungeon. I don’t think this is asking too much.

For anyone with a taste for BDSM flavor (for the vanilla: “BDSM” is an umbrella term generally agreed to stand for bondage/discipline/sadism/masochism that encompasses all kinks of such nature), the image of a fully-stocked sex dungeon — complete with shelves of whips, ball-gags, and nipple clamps — stimulates an array of tingling and a rush of blood flow to the body. Such items can be purchased at any sex shop or discretely online at places like Babeland. Thanks to previous sex columns, I myself am in the blessed possession of an elaborate collection of toys from sex PR companies (keep ‘em coming!).

Understandably, not everyone has a closet full of kink. Some interested in BDSM are new to this world, and do not yet own latex bodysuits or the perfectly fitted set of nipple clamps. Hence, despite your current lacking of ball-gags and goods, it is important to expand your horizons past the creation of a safe word and learn how to engage in bondage with simply what you have lying around your bedroom. Furthermore, as enticing as the image of being led blindfolded into a slick, black-leather bedroom of pain and pleasure is, life comes at you fast; you can’t always predict when the urge to be tied up and whipped is going to occur. It’s good to learn to act on your feet (or hog-tied) with what is readily available.

Below I offer a few beginners suggestions of how to turn everyday objects into delightful tools for painful pleasure. The list is brought to you in alphabetical order courtesy of my OCD.

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Bed Frame

You can tell you’re kinky if when entering a person’s room the first thing you do is look at their bed to see if it’s conducive to being tied up. You don’t need to spend $50o on the “Forced Orgasm Tower” or a steel suspension bar right away. Get tied up in your own bed. Unless you simply have a mattress on the floor (okay, grow up first) any sort of bed frame can be converted into a dungeon bench of sorts. Utilize the frame or leg posts of your bed as locations to tie limbs to. If your bed frame doesn’t allow for this, you can practice your skills with a drill (not on your partner… we’re not going that extreme in this article) and adorn your bed with metal hooks available at any hardware store. (Warning: IKEA beds easily fall apart when things get rough.)

Belts

Who needs a leather dog collar when your boyfriend has on a leather belt? Boom! All he needs to do is unbuckle it, place it around your neck, and you’re his pet.

Candles

Candles are sold as “official” BDSM items but you probably have some fucking Sun & Sand Yankee Candle lying around that’ll do the dirty work just as dirty. Instructions as follows: Partner takes lit candle and drips hot wax on you. It hurts. It cools down. Repeat.

Closet

“Damn girl… you so fine I just want to put you in a cage under my bed and feed you scraps.” Terrific pick-up line. If you have a lot of time to invest in BDSM, being locked up somewhere and taken out when your partner wants is a great way to spend a day. However unless you’re a large dog owner or a professional domme, you likely don’t own a cage big enough for a human. But if you’re young and broke, I bet you have a small closet! Have your partner keep you in there and only let you out when they want their way with you.

Clothespins

If you’ve watched any bondage porn I bet you’ve seen a chick covered in clothespins. They are so commonly used because they work great for pinching sensitive areas such as nipples, providing both pleasure and pain. Nipple clamps can be beautiful to look at — black leather with a shiny chain running across your chest. However, despite their often adjustable screws, it can be hard to find a set of nipple clamps that fit perfectly. (As you’re likely aware, nipples come in all shapes and sizes.) Not only are clothespins cheaper, but those cheap motherfuckers actually often get the job done better than fancier alternatives.

Panties

A popular BDSM item is the ball-gag. It’s ideal for power play; you can’t talk, it’s harder to breathe, and your mouth is forced open. While not as visually extreme, you can basically achieve the same goal simply using your underwear. Let your partner rip them off them shove them in your mouth. Not only are you unable to speak but you taste yourself, which adds an extra layer of perversion and awesomeness.

Scarves

The obvious first step to take in bondage is to be, well, bonded, tied up, restrained so your partner can have their way with you. Handcuffs and leather restraints are great for this. So are scarves. As it is cold outside, I have my scarves lined up and readily available by my closet near the bed. Scarves are perfect to quickly grab and utilize any Boy Scout’s knots to be rapidly tied, spread apart on your bed or limbs bonded together. My only scarf warning is to go with your less expensive ones: Go with the cat-printed scarf from Urban Outfitters rather than Hermès. Should you struggle, scarves can rip.

Sex Partner

Last, I bring you the most important, valuable and readily available bondage toy of all: Yours and your sex partner’s body. Forget a collar; just wrap hands around a neck! Use teeth to bite, a tongue to tease, fingers to pull hair, and the gift of speech to name-call. Yes, leather whips create a fantastic noise upon contact and are fun to collect, paddles, horsetails, etc., but you’ve also got hands. Spank.

(Photos courtesy of Sophie St. Thomas)

  • Griffin McFarlane

    LOVE it.

  • silver

    Superb article. Well bloody done.

  • baxter

    sexy feet

  • Keven Kelly

    I think using scarves is a bad idea, and locking someone in a closet is a bad idea.

    Scarves will tighten uncomfortably when the knot inevitably slips which can lead to a loss of circulation in the limb; furthermore, the knot can tighten and become difficult to untie if you need to get someone out in a hurry. Always make sure you have some safety shears on hand in case you need to untie your partner in a hurry. Cotton clothesline, if you take out the core, is a cheap, safer alternative.

    Never let your partner out of sight when playing with them. Things can go bad fast, and one stumble or one weak head falling is all it might take to asphixiate your partner. Do not lock someone in a closet and never leave a bound person unattended! Remember to play safe!

    Oh and the rest of the stuff is a good idea although you did miss out on hairbrushes as paddles! Play safe and happy perving!

  • KitsuneMika

    you need to be careful when playing with candles and wax. many people are unaware when they first start wax play and wind up giving their partner bad burns. when starting with wax play it is advised to start with unscented and uncolored paraffin candles, because they have the lowest melting temp. the reason why you want to go scentless and colorless is because they can all raise melting temp by anywhere from 10-35 degrees. that is the difference between a nice painful experiance to an accident that requires you to break out the burn cream. also you want to be careful when layering wax as it is a very good insulator for heat, and can trap it close to the serface of the sub.

  • Mi

    clearly this person has never done bdsm or even researched deeply please dont listen to this person they clearly dont know what they are talking about,this stuff just sounds like they was given a deadline and just came up with shit on the spot

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