Upon moving to New York City, I wasn’t injected by a government official with an amphetamine cocktail originally created during wartime to keep soldiers marching on like robots. They call it the city that never sleeps because we keep it awake with the hum of our ambition, our careers, the social scene, relationships, the striving for personal development. The last on the list—personal development—is not about external factors such as a promotion or a Page Six photo op, but internally, self-healing through sleep, meditation, sex, or simply time for ourselves to learn and breathe. These are too often boxes that are never checked off our to-do lists.
Rather than ramble into the kaleidoscope of new-agey Sophie, I’ll take this moment to grasp two words mentioned above to speak about the Atlantis of the female sexual anatomy: The G-spot (“box” and “internal”). Many women have never experienced a G-spot orgasm. I am not a doctor—even those who are report conflicting knowledge of exactly where and what and why and how the G-spot is—but I can tell you from (unfortunately) limited experience that it does exist, and orgasms can take place simply from the G-spot rather than clitoral stimulation. However, silly boys, you can’t just pound a chick for ten minutes, come, fall asleep, and expect to see one in the wild. Achieving a G-spot orgasm takes time and effort. The bearer of the G-spot takes responsibility as well; we ladies must carve out time in our busy schedules to find exactly where ours is (about one to three inches on the front vaginal wall), what it feels like it (spongy like a marshmallow) and what sort of pressure and touch we need use it to get off.
My first G-spot orgasm took place in high school with a vibrator created specifically for G-spot pleasure. They are usually curved like a horseshoe, to allow for simultaneous clitoral and internal (G-spot) stimulation. I was simply using mine in bed, casually, with no expectations. I believe it was aqua and given to me by a girlfriend for a birthday present. All of a sudden I experienced a different type of orgasm I can best describe as internal, rather than external. When our clits make us come, there are still internal contractions felt (meant to help suck up the semen and impregnate us!) but I remember the orgasm was much deeper and more intense. In this instance, I did experience a release of fluids (squirting, in porn-speak, but it was a subtle release) although since I have had G-sport orgasms where no gushing occurred. (Holy fuck, the female anatomy is more mysterious than the disappearance of this Malaysian airplane.) It is true that before having a G-spot orgasm it feels like you have to pee. That’s a good sign you’ve found it. Continue to apply pressure, and when you come, if female ejaculation occurs, remember it is not pee, but rather another form of girlie-jizz that also has scientists baffled. Despite what the pornography industry would lead you to believe, it is very rare in real life, but it can happen, and certainly catch both parties by surprise when it does.
My reaction the first time a partner actually got me off with my G-spot was hilarious. Most women love a man’s hands, it’s a quite common attraction, and hands are very important during sex. We were just fooling around, then all of a sudden:
Sophie: “OH MY GOD. WHAT IS THAT?”
Him: “Honey, that’s your G-spot.”
There is debate whether this kind of G-spot adept male is even a living, breathing human or an ancient vampire in the possession of knowledge collected from experiences with women’s vaginas over the past several centuries that lead him straight there, because in attempts after to find it on your own, you do kind of have to dig around. Here is my advice to you: Dig around and find that fucker, use a vacation day if you need to, because no woman should die having never experienced a G-spot orgasm. I learned a cool trick to help you find it and gave myself one earlier today! (As the porn watching was for research work-related purchases, does anyone at the IRS know if subscriptions to porn websites can be written off on tax returns?)
1. Relax. If you are doing this with your partner, it helps to have them give you a nice, long, massage first.
2. Find your G-spot, a soft area a few inches on the front wall (if you pushed down against your abdomen from the outside, you could also feel it) that is spongy and, as mentioned, sort of feels like a marshmallow. Its texture is different from the rest of your vaginal wall and it protrudes slightly.
3. Get mega-turned on, like, so turned on you think you could come from the brush of a feather over your clit. In my case I watched a lot of porn but didn’t touch myself to achieve this level of pulsating energy.
4. Begin rubbing your G-spot. The vibrator route is easiest, but two fingers are my favorite. Some girls like intense pressure, some like a light touch, some constant, some like rapid thrusting. You just gotta do you.
5. Get off. I am not making any promises, only throwing advice out there, but once you are relaxed and have located yours, getting turned on and giving the G-spot all of the attention worked for me. Dual stimulation (clit and G-spot) orgasms are awesome, too, so if nothing’s happening, don’t be afraid to go ahead and touch your clit as well, every woman is built differently, but none of us should be denied orgasm. Or the right to choose.
AND I’M OUT. Happy hunting and may the force be with you.