Weren’t at Coachella this weekend? Great. Neither were we. But it was 70 glorious g-damn degrees in New York so who cares? Also, abstaining from what has become one of the country’s #1 shitshows probably means you don’t have one of a number of things acquired over the last few days, namely a sunburn and a fun STD. If you’re still bummed you missed out on
the fashion photo opp of your lifetime a weekend of amazing music, we’ve dug through the, like, million of unfortunately tagged photos on Instagram and found the worst of the worst to suck that salt right out of the wound. These shots will make you happy you just stayed home and made your dog brunch.
I seriously think that headless torso selfies are the bane of my existence, next to the guys on the subway with unclipped fingernails, corduroy bellbottoms, and plastic bags of day-old Chinese food. Pocahantas, I do not give two shits about your abs. And the fact that your 3.2k followers do makes me want the Internet to explode.
This shirt makes me think of all the horrible things we are doing to our planet that are subsequently melting icecaps and drowning polar bears just so we can have one more stupid shirt.
Life was a lot less embarrassing before Instagram, back when you would take pictures of your fancy “back art” on a disposable camera and hide the results under your bed for fear your friends would find them and ask what the hell is wrong with you.
Because nothing quite compliments the 100-degree days and blustery desert winds quite like thirty pounds of face shellac and individually-placed false eyelashes.
Dances with Wolves + Boner = This
Coachella: For those who think going slutty one time a year on Halloween is not enough. Seriously, where the strip club at… This photo makes me so glad I was born in the ’80s. Can’t even tell you.
Girl, don’t tease me. I wish there were miniature leopards at Coachella. Also, this is probably illegal. You should maybe rethink about what you’re posting on your totally public account.
Feathers and fur doth not a musical extravaganza make. If one more person goes all #coachella on a picture of a rack of clothing and not a hot, sweaty lead singer. I’m going to kill somebody.
Although I am thankful that this woman’s opportunistic and misleading hashtag led me to whatever the fuck this is.
All photos courtesy of Instagram.