Melissa Stetten and the Truth About SINDIES

May 7, 2014 • Love & Sex

What man wouldn't want this gorgeous babe? All of them, apparently.

Want a piece of this? Don’t want a piece of this. Don’t matter.

Amy Poehler, Heidi Klum, Liz Hurley, and Gwyneth Paltrow are all gorgeous, single, divorced, and successful women with children. The official title is SINDIE. It stands for “Single Income Divorced Women.”

Texting and the Internet have ruined the use of proper grammar because we prefer convenience and quickness over linguistics, so it only makes sense to add another acronym to the pile of billions. We can file this one after ROFL and before TTYL.

SINDIES are usually between the ages of 35 and 50, and aren’t looking to settle down because they’ve already been married. They throw “divorce parties” and apparently buy a ton of sexy lingerie. Is Fifty Shades of Grey to blame for this?  Who knows, but the fact that women are feeling confident enough after a divorce to be as happy as they possibly can be is great. Feeling empowered, especially as a woman, is a fantastic thing and we should always take advantage of it.

We’ve been taught by society to fear becoming a divorcee. The stereotypical man leaving his wife for a younger woman has always been a fear of mine, and I’m sure for many other women. We rarely hear of successful women leaving behind a husband and children; it’s always the other way around. It’s totally normal to feel devastated after a break-up, so I’m glad SINDIES are being recognized, even as silly as it sounds. Women should always feel bold enough to date whoever they want and wear whatever they want (except the platform flip-flop, let’s not get too crazy).

I feel especially more confident than I did a year ago when I broke up with my boyfriend. Age and experience have a lot to do with confidence, so I’m planning on being a badass 40-year-old. I used to date older guys because I was already the younger girl I presumed they wanted, so why would they need to leave or cheat on me? Don’t do this. It’s a horrible idea. You have better things to do than play poker in a basement on a Saturday night while drinking beer with men who were old enough to watch JFK’s assassination on their black and white Zenith television. I’d rather be a SINBAD (Single Income No Boyfriend And Depressed) than date a 50 year old again.

Dating is really awful. I’m not even sure I would want to deal with it at 40, but if I’m stuck in an unhappy marriage with a guy who doesn’t know how to use a screwdriver and has more facial products than me, you better believe I will drop him like I did the third season of Prison Break after they kept getting put in jail for no reason.

Divorce rates are rising, and so is the use of Botox. That = younger looking divorcees. If a man in his 50s has never been married, it’s because he’s focusing on his career or knows what he wants. If a woman in her 50s has never been married, there must be something REALLY wrong with her. No, dipshits, it’s because she didn’t want to get married (or didn’t find the right guy). Same for divorcees.  There’s nothing wrong with divorced women, they were just in unhappy marriages.

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that women aren’t feeling as repressed and the divorce rate is rising. I’m assuming it means women are speaking up and aren’t as afraid to be on their own. Of course Kim Kardashian having 3 husbands doesn’t help the divorce spike, but at least she was honest enough with herself to want happiness and not be afraid of cutting ties. It’s always sweet to see couples who have been together for 50+ years, but I can’t see myself being one of those people, and I don’t feel guilty at all.

If an older woman wants to wear skinny jeans and go to the club to hit on adorable 25-year-olds, then go for it! Who am I to judge what makes a person happy? Divorced women who have children should be allowed the same experiences as anyone else.

Age is just a number y’all. Although the term “naughty forties” makes me want to die.

 

 

  • Mike DeAngelo

    “You have better things to do than play poker in a basement on a Saturday night while drinking beer with men who were old enough to watch JFK’s assassination on their black and white Zenith television.”

    Lol – Anthony!

  • shittystripper

    I lost it at “SINBAD (Single Income No Boyfriend And Depressed)”.

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