The 10 Best Things Mom Ever Told Me

May 12, 2014 • Love & Sex


Shout out to my mother… for loving me as her blonde island girl thinking of law school who transformed into a tattooed sex columnist currently driving down a highway wearing a bright blue wig. Thank you Mom for supporting me through the many absurd changes I have gone through. Thank you for letting me dress like Peter Pan constantly when I was little, for the worn-in, leather BCBG jacket you passed down to me, and for showing me how to be strong in the face of heartbreak. Thank you for the advice below. Happy Mother’s Day. Also, thank you to birth control, but I am glad you guys didn’t use any when you had me.

  1. Choose someone who likes to dance, even if they look silly.
  2. Choose someone who makes an effort to introduce you to their friends and family.
  3. Do not enter a relationship looking for someone to save you.
  4. Do not enter a relationship thinking you can change or save him.
  5. Conversely, get out of a relationship if he has changed too much and those changes are hard for you.
  6. It is up to YOU whom you have sex with. Don’t feel pressure by society or anyone to sleep with anyone you don’t want to, just because they want to sleep with you.
  7. It’s okay if you are gay.
  8. It is your right as a woman to choose.
  9. Choose someone with their shit together. Money comes and goes, and is not the answer to happiness, but they should be willing and able to support you and your potential family.
  10. Above all, choose someone kind.
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