Theorizing the Beauty Industry: The Best Beauty Collabs that Don’t Exist (Yet)

May 23, 2014 • Beauty

Earlier this week I came across the amazing Abercrombie & Fitch catalog with copy written by Slavoj Žižek courtesy of Fourpins and I’ve been screaming my head off about it ever since.

This kind of collaboration is my favorite, you guys. Though I am an unabashed nerd and much of my work thrives on theoretical ideas — it’s a dead language of inaccessible ideas if you don’t mess with it. Cate Blanchett discussed this with 032c in a fantastic interview a few issues ago — “Theory is there to be fucked with. It has to be fucked with, disregarded, argued with, tossed out, and rebelled against. . . no one is interested in seeing my homework. In fact one has to assume that no one is interested in seeing me full stop.” Being able to manipulate philosophical ideas and combine them with the most unexpected, seemingly vapid industries fills me with life. I live, quite honestly, to troll and to revel in the actual amazing possibilities of the absurd. Let’s be absurd together. I put together my favorite (and plain ol’ infamous) theorists with their would be makeup compatriots. Slavoj Žižek, watch out — I’m on the pitch horse for all your comrades. Please excuse my lack of Helvetica, it does put a fork in 110% brand authenticity.



The quote is from What is Philosophy? by Deleuze & Guattari.

Other taglines:

  • The body is an event – make it a good one, with our newly relaunched NARS skincare.
  • Contour yourself into a body without organs with our best-selling Laguna Bronzer.
  • The body is a lived experience, and it is often overwhelming. It need not be: introducing egg capsule skincare serums with aromatherapy oils and rosehip! For revitalizing your skin and soul.



A reference to A Lover’s Discourse, which is wonderful to read when you want to torture yourself over long distance relationships, not that I would know from personal experience or anything!!!! Hahahahahaah!!!!!!! I’m okay!! I’m not crying inside!!!

Other taglines:

  • Language may wound and seduce you but your skincare doesn’t have to. Shu Uemura’s cleansing oils are international best-sellers for their hydrating and deep-cleansing properties.
  • Someone tells me: this kind of love is not viable. But tell me this long lasting lip color is not the actual best ever. 
  • Engulfment is a symptom of hypnosis. Engulf your hair in our hydrating hair serums and hypnotize everyone into doing your bidding with the shininess of your luscious locks


drjartlolFrom her inimitable A Cyborg Manifesto.

Dr. Jart+’s branding is already quite futuristic and pro-cyborg, it’s really fun. And besides, don’t you feel like a cyborg when you put a sheet mask on? I sure do. I love the brand’s names for products too, they are already in a conversation with the future and the past. Premium Time Returning Cream? A cyborg cannot dream of returning to dust….



Who else should pair with the man behind the Theater of Cruelty than the tools that reduce grown adults to tears in the name of an ideal brow arch? Surrender to the performance of beauty, even if it hurts.

End scene. MIC DROP. Etc.

*These images are originally property of the respective brands — these mockups are done with total love and affection! Hat tip to all those involved.


Tags: ,

Read more:
Hustlers and Heels II: Return from London to Tripping Through Narnia
Melissa Stetten and the Truth About SINDIES

All Aboard.

Get The Style Con shipped to your inbox.