You can have kinky, dirty sex without feeling dirty. Wait, I take that back. In kink–take S&M, for instance–the whole point is to feel dirty and degraded; it’s what gets you off. But you can have that sex and still feel respected. When you’ve embraced that you like being called names, getting slapped, and/or receiving facials (I could continue but you may be reading this at work or you may be related to me so I’ll stop here), there’s an empowerment to practicing that sort of sex with a consenting partner. Yet after the sexual act is finished, when you’re lying in bed, even the next day at the office when sexual memories distract you from answering emails, you want their lasting memory to either get you wet or make you blush… not burst into tears. Here’s some tips to try the next time you’re being held down and pounded to still feel loved.
- Eye contact: The quickest way to make a woman feel like a receptacle is not to look at her while jack-rabbiting away. If you’re playing with choking, be a gentleman and look her in the eye while you hold her down and thrust. Sometimes it is nice to burry a head in a pillow, but with the right neck flexibility (daily stretching) eye contact can even be achieved while hitting it DS (doggy-style).
- Cuddling: After the verboten sex has culminated (unless this was the agreed arrangement or, heaven forbid, the experience was upsetting) neither party should just get up and leave, nor should either party drift into a post-orgasm nap. The dominant partner should take the submissive into their arms and show them all the love in the world as you float away together on a boat of slumber, sweaty head in sweaty armpit.
- Conversation: Nothing makes you feel more like a grown up than discussing politics after rough sex up against a wall.
- Kisses: Unless no kissing is a rule of the kinky sex you are having, kiss! Deep kisses on the mouth. Kissing is intimiate. Kissing is hot. Kissing reminds you it’s all okay right after you’ve just been spanked.
- Alternate: Sometimes it’s late or a weekday morning (quickie before work) and you only have time for one round. However, on a weekend, fuck more than once! After you’ve become turned on again thinking about the filthy obscene things you just did, why not (dare I say the words) make love? You can always do like Trent Reznor and fuck like an animal later.