Kendall Jenner Models for Estee Lauder and the World Snores

November 18, 2014 • Beauty, Culture

Courtesy of Estee Lauder

Courtesy of Estee Lauder

Guess who’s the newest face of Estee Lauder? I’ll give you a hint: she’s popular, boring looking, and her older sister is naked in Paper Magazine looking like a centaur. You guessed it, Kendall Jenner!

“She is the ultimate instagirl, and we are excited to leverage her image, voice, energy and extraordinary social media power to introduce Estée Lauder to millions of young women around the world,” said Global Brand President Jane Hertzmark Hudis.

Translation: she’s one of those Kardashian gals so a bunch of people will see our products and buy them.

Kendall’s response, “I just feel so blessed.”

Go fuck yourself, Kendall. Seriously. I know it wasn’t your choice to be born into the most fame-whoring family of all time, but maybe you should try doing something different? Do you read books, Kendall? I hope so. Being famous for being famous is getting really old. The last thing we need is another Jenner offspring shoved in our faces. Your sister has that (un)covered. Get it… cuz her ass… it’s not… OH FORGET IT.

Remember when Christy Turlington, Linda Evengelista, and Kate Moss were the face of everything? I don’t want to blame Anna Wintour for the shift in replacing the “cover girls,” but she kinda started this whole thing by putting Madonna on the cover of Vogue (which resulted in a 40% spike in newsstand sales). Nothing against Madonna, but I’d much rather see an exotic-looking beauty from some shitty town in Iowa being praised for her golden-ratio face and quirkiness.

It seems that every actress is now required to be a model, thus being pressured into looking like a model. Also, there’s digital technology to edit out the flaws that actresses have but supermodels don’t have (which is why they’re supermodels, duh). It’s basically a lose-lose situation for everyone. Models aren’t getting magazine covers and Jennifer Lawrence has to throw up her lunch.

Is the supermodel a dying breed? Using a familiar face appeals to a broader audience, so putting ScarJo in your skinny jeans will sell more products. I came up with an equation to explain this phenomenon:

Famous + Pants = $$$

Designers can also gain notoriety by using celebrities.

“Oh damn, Rihanna was wearing the Alexander Wang x H&M collection? It must be good.” –An actual thought I had last week. I am part of the problem.

Being a model definitely makes me biased, but I do wish Karlie Kloss were on more covers. She’s awkward as fuck but far more interesting to look at than Jennifer Anniston. Supermodels were made valuable during the ’70s, ’80s and ’90s by their unique beauty and eccentricities. Twiggy was so badass! She gave the tall, skinny, weird girls something to look forward to other than being stuck dating shorter guys who all happened to be Jewish writers. Oh, wait, that’s me.

Fashion should be about art, not about who has the most clout.


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  • IHateFameWhores

    You’re calling her a fame whore? You? Hahaha! You are the biggest fame whore but the difference is she’s famous and you are not and you can clearly see it’s killing you. Hahahaha.
    That retard is ten times hotter than you ever were and even a less of a piece of sh*t dirt bag than you.

    Go f*ck yourself Melissa and crawl back under the rock that you came you jealous, racist, lying piece of sh*t.

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