Relationship Pie Charts

September 25, 2015 • Editor's Choice, Love & Sex

1930 --- 1930s Man Teacher Looking At Camera With Pointer At Blackboard --- Image by © H. Armstrong Roberts/ClassicStock/Corbis

Image by © H. Armstrong Roberts/ClassicStock/Corbis

 

In failed relationships, distance brings perspective, and, with it, the ability to stand, god-like, over your past self and say, “Yo, what the f*ck was that all about?” In the moment, it’s always tough to see the wood for the trees. Benny’s not gay! He just really likes hanging out with me instead of playing four square with the guys! Bill’s not that into cocaine! He’s just an excellent chef and has really nice abs! Endings bring clarity, however, and once the feelings abate and the lust dissipates, what you are left with are the elementary particles. Namely, the (mostly) superficial reasons as to why you were attracted to them in the first place and the (mostly) superficial reasons it didn’t work out. To demonstrate, I’ve explored my history in boy dating in a series of colorful pie charts below, in chronological order, meant to be read in clockwise.

Exhibit A: Age 6

Benny

 

EXHIBIT B: Age 8

Grant

 

EXHIBIT C: Age 13

O'Har copy

 

EXHIBIT D: Age 14

Norbert

 

EXHIBIT E: Age 14

Washington

 

EXHIBIT F: Age 26

DJ

 

EXHIBIT G: Old enough to know better

Bill

 

Tags: , , ,

Read more:
What We Talk About When We Talk About Gemma Ward

I Want Your Sex… and Clothes and Stuff
Close
close

All Aboard.

Get The Style Con shipped to your inbox.